The power of focus

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Have you ever been physically in one place but psychologically in another one at the same time? Just like when you are sleeping at night, and you are dreaming, and you are in bed but psychologically you are somewhere else… Or just like when I was talking to my sister Mari yesterday and all of the sudden I hear the song that I use with Matt in our events and it automatically transports me to the very first event that we did together, making me feel super powerful, super confident, super excited, super grateful… All of the sudden I am in a different country and I am ready to give a 2 hours talk with Matt and I am seeing the man of my dreams next to me looking really smart and feeling super proud of him and…. and my sister Mari keeps talking to me and I am not there with her… until I hear that familiar sentence… “Equi, are you listening to me or what?!” – “Ouch!”

Consider this! A couple needs help with their relationship and they seek help from a marriage counsellor. As they arrive the marriage counsellor starts building the therapeutic relationship to allow the client to explore what they need to. Before they know they’ve fallen into the natural trance state in which I did when talking with my sister Mari. The man is getting more psychologically tuned in to the divorce he went through some years ago than in the right here/right now counselling room.

This is called abstraction. As a hypnotherapist my actual job is not to hypnotise anyone but actually to de-hypnotise people, which means to trance people out of their absorbed mental and emotional states they once fell into and where they’re still trapped into which is causing all kinds of struggles and usually not only in their intimate relationships but also in other areas of their lives. Hypnosis is a natural phenomenon that happens all the time in everyday life as we go about our day. Most of people fall into negative trance states innocently and unconsciously in a way that they hypnotise themselves in a harmful way and only a few people who know this use the power of natural hypnosis to their own benefit by deliberately and repeatedly choosing something empowering to focus their attention on and adding a certain amount of emotion. This is something that we do in our Breakthrough program to redirect people’s challenges from disempowering to empowering. You see, whatever you repeatedly give your focus of attention to you are feeding with your emotions to turn it into real. Yes, from your mind to what you call reality. What you focus on expands, your deepest fears and your deepest desires will tend to realise one way or another through the astonishing power of your attention, repetition and emotion, the three components of hypnosis.

What are the most common trance states that you unconsciously fall into? What are the most empowering trance states that you are choosing right now to repeatedly fall into from now onward?

Imagine having couples counselling. The more you talk about the problem the more you feel it and the more you feel it the worse you feel and before you know you’re facing more of that in a same or similar scenario, with the same person or with another. You know why? Because the more you talk about it and the more you feel it the deeper you are ingraining that pattern into your subconscious mind where the problem resides! Gosh!

The more couples in crisis Matt and me support the more testimonials we hear saying that counselling never worked for them. Even when I’ve worked with women some of them have told me that after trying many different approaches including counselling they’re still struggling with exactly the same challenge! That’s why they’re coming to me. And I remember a client saying that he had CBT counselling for almost two years and he really got amazing results but interestingly, the reason why he was in our coaching room was directly connected to the reason why he got the CBT counselling support. Did it really work? Two weeks later, after the second part of our Breakthrough coaching program Aligned with Your Self, he told me that the insights and shifts that he had got in just two 3 hours sessions had been dramatically life changing. Ummm…!

Constantly hypnotising someone makes them feel bad by keeping their focus of attention on negative events from past experiences and it should not be part of any modern therapy and even less when people are clearly going through some kind of PTSD symptoms which by the way, can be turned around almost painlessly and powerfully rapidly.

Have you ever had counselling and how valuable did you find it?

Coaching on the other hand, supports you in seeing what you call problems as necessary steps to take in the direction of what you want through an objective and expansive perspective from a mindset of possibility that we believe in based on the countless couples and men and women that we’ve worked with and getting you to access your own resources and insights that you need to see things differently and as soon as that happens you start feeling differently. Heeei! We have experienced both!

Have you ever experienced the life changing power of coaching?

As a direct result of coaching and de-trancing work the clients report numerous benefits such as taking more action, treating themselves with greater respect and inspiring their partner to do the same, increase of self-confidence and self-esteem, self-love, compassion and loving communication, generating momentum and consistency, having more clarity and focus, feeling more balance within themselves and less reactive to external forces like for example to their partner who they can’t control but influence, producing results in the areas of their life that really matter, more money, greater magic in their relationship, more emotional connection, more trust, greater communication, and very importantly, a great quality of life!

Do you have a great quality of life?

It’s easy to get distracted in the day to day details of our lives and to get stuck in a miserable or unfulfilling relationship. If that is your case then allowing a relationship coach to lead your way is invaluable because you are going to shift those challenges before you know it because your coach is going to move you towards where you want to be so you stop defaulting to feelings, beliefs and associations that you’ve accumulated from your past and are dragging you down and backwards day by day because when you allow your past rather than your future to overtake your current decisions you just keep producing the same predictable results and the same predictable problems again and again.

A relationship coach is not a friend that you seek out to vent your problems but rather a professional trained to utilise your inner power to create solutions to the challenges you are facing using the most powerful tools available to them adapted to your needs at the moment.

Are you still doubting yourself? Give yourself permission to have a great quality of life by transforming your relationship with your Self and impacting the relationship with your partner… and with your children!

I wonder who is going to be the first person who is going to tell you that you look differently as soon as you’ve had your relationship breakthrough!

Have a wonderful super week and remember to consciously focus your attention to empowering things that bring you the quality of life that you want and the magic and spicy relationship that you deserve!

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