When the attraction fades… Is Love really Blind?

Intense attraction at the start of our relationship

Lingering glances, flirty banter, or physical touch, the initial attraction we feel towards someone is a powerful emotional and physical response that determines your future relationships. In this blog we will discuss attraction in relationships and how we can maintain it over time. How important is it? And what do we do if the attraction we feel towards our partner is fading?

“Love is Blind” – finding love when you can’t even SEE the other person!

The popular Netflix show Love is Blind has come under recent backlash after their live reunion wasn’t aired, leaving some fans waiting hours to see the latest season. The show’s premise revolves around a group of men and women who are looking for love and are willing to take a chance on an unconventional approach to dating. The men and women are separated into pods to have conversations in an environment where they are never able to see each other. The basis of the show is to find a true connection without the ability to judge others based on the way they look. 

This year has already seen the marriage of season 3 contestants, Alexa Alfia and Brennon Lemioux. Whilst SK Alagbada chose to take a more conventional approach at the end of last season, turning down a marriage to Raven, this pair appear happily coupled on socials with SK sharing plenty of loving messages in Raven’s direction!

How important is attraction in our relationship?

Love is Blind tries to show us that looks aren’t everything however, for the many relationships that do work on the show, many do not. We are going to look into how important attraction really is.

Physical attraction is often what draws two people towards each other initially. Attraction plays a significant role in a romantic relationship, as it serves as the initial spark that draws two people towards each other. Physical attraction is often what catches our attention at first, but attraction can also be based on emotional and intellectual factors, such as shared values, interests, and personality traits. It’s important to note that while attraction plays a major role in the early stages of many relationships, over-time the bond between individuals tends to deepen, forming an intense attraction, physically, emotionally and even spiritually.

What happens when the attraction fades?

Maintaining a sense of attraction and desire towards one’s partner is important for keeping the romance alive and cultivating a strong emotional connection over time. Our statistics have shown that less than 40% of the 1000+ couples that responded to a survey on our website believe they still have the “spark” in the relationship.

Over time people’s habits, lifestyles and bodies will change, it is understandable for a partner to find this challenging in a long term relationship. Loss of physical attraction can develop from a loss of emotional or physical connection. This connection can be built through open and honest communication, mutual respect, trust, and a willingness to be vulnerable with each other. A strong connection also creates a foundation of trust and security, which allows partners to feel comfortable being themselves and expressing their true thoughts and feelings. 

Deepening your connection

Here are some tried and tested ways that you can not only maintain but strengthen the attraction in your relationship.

• Work on yourself: Sometimes, attraction fades because one or both partners have stopped taking care of themselves. Focus on your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Take up a new hobby, exercise, or meditate to reduce stress and anxiety.
• Plan date nights: Plan regular date nights and do something new and exciting together. This could be anything from trying a new restaurant to taking a dance class.
• Show appreciation: Show appreciation for your partner and their efforts. Small gestures like saying thank you, giving compliments, or surprise gifts can make a big difference in how you feel about each other.
• Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to revive your attraction towards your partner, consider seeking professional help from a couples therapist, such as ourselves here at Aligned with Love. 

We help our clients by providing you with tools and strategies to improve communication, reconnect, and reignite the spark in your relationship. As a first step, take the Aligned with Love relationship scorecard to find the areas of your relationship that may need a change.