From Relationship CLASH to CLARITY in 5 Simple Steps
Unsure whether to stay in your relationship or leave? Discover Matt Albiges’ practical five-step guide to understanding relationship patterns, improving communication and finding clarity about what comes next. Read it together or start on your own.
Understand the patterns keeping your relationship stuck
Explore practical steps towards connection and clarity
Available in paperback, eBook and audiobook
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
From Relationship CLASH to CLARITY in 5 Simple Steps
When your relationship isn't working the way you want it to, it can be difficult to know what to do next.
Do we keep trying?
Can things really change?
Are we going through a difficult phase — or is this relationship no longer right for me?
Should I Stay or Should I Go? is designed to help you step away from the confusion, understand what's really happening in your relationship and start finding greater clarity about what comes next.
Whether you're struggling, questioning your future together or simply want to create an even stronger relationship, this book gives you practical ways to look differently at your relationship and the part you can play in changing it.
Is This Book for You?
Relationships rarely fit neatly into "good" or "bad". Sometimes you still love each other, but something has changed.
Sometimes the same arguments keep happening. Sometimes you've become disconnected and can't remember when things started to feel different.
And sometimes things are actually going well — but you both know your relationship could be even better.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? is for anyone wanting to re-evaluate, better understand or improve an intimate relationship.
Your Relationship Is Struggling
Arguments, communication problems or emotional distance have started to become part of everyday life and you want to understand whether things can change.
You're Questioning Whether to Stay
You're caught between wanting the relationship to work and wondering whether walking away might ultimately be the right decision.
You Want Something Better
Things aren't necessarily "bad", but you know there is more connection, intimacy and happiness available to you both.
Reading Together or Starting Alone
You can read together to explore different perspectives, or begin by yourself if your partner is not ready. The book encourages you to focus on changes within your own control.
Clarity About What Comes Next
The aim is to understand your relationship more clearly, so you can make a more confident decision about its future.
Finally Start Making Sense of Your Relationship
When you're inside a relationship problem, it can be incredibly difficult to see it clearly. You might focus on what your partner needs to change.
They might believe you're the problem. You may both keep having different versions of the same argument without ever resolving what's really underneath it.
This book is designed to help you take a different view.
You'll begin exploring the beliefs, behaviours and relationship patterns that may be contributing to what's happening — and the practical changes that can help move you from CLASH towards CLARITY.
Because finding clarity isn't simply about deciding whether to stay or leave. It's about understanding your relationship well enough to make that decision from a much stronger place.
You Don't Have to Wait for Your Partner to Start
If you're both ready to work on your relationship, reading the book together can open up conversations and help you understand the situation from different perspectives. But what if your partner isn't ready?
You can still start. If communication between you has become difficult or you've chosen to read the book by yourself, you'll be encouraged to look at the changes you can make personally rather than waiting for someone else to change first.
That may help create a shift within the relationship. It may also help you recognise when you've done everything you reasonably can and need to consider a different future.
Either way, the goal is clarity.
From Relationship CLASH to CLARITY
Should I Stay or Should I Go? takes you through a practical five-step journey designed to help you make better sense of your relationship.
Rather than giving you a simplistic answer to the question "Should I stay or should I go?", it helps you look more deeply at:
The aim isn't to tell you what decision to make.
It's to help you become clearer and more confident in making it yourself.
Start With a FREE Chapter
Not ready to buy the book? Explore Should I Stay or Should I Go? with the free chapter:
“Shouldn’t Relationships Just Be ‘Easy’?”
One of the biggest misconceptions Matt encounters is the belief that the right relationship should simply be easy. Real relationships are more complicated than that.
This chapter explores the beliefs and expectations we bring into relationships, and how they shape the way we interpret difficulties.
Make Space for a Different Perspective
When the same problems keep returning, it can be difficult to see beyond what your partner needs to change. The book invites you to look at your own beliefs, behaviours and relationship patterns too.
Its five-step approach explores what is happening, what is within your control and what can realistically change.
Read Together or Begin on Your Own
You do not need to wait until you both feel ready. Start exploring the changes you can make personally, or use the book together to open up a different conversation.
Get Your FREE Chapter by Email
Click below to open the signup page. Enter your details there to receive the chapter in your inbox.
Choose the Format That Works for You
Whether you prefer turning physical pages, reading on the move or listening while you're out and about, you can choose the format that suits you.
Paperback
Get the physical paperback delivered to you and work through the book at your own pace.
eBook
Start reading on your Kindle, tablet or phone.
Audiobook
Prefer to listen? Take the book with you on walks, journeys or whenever you have some space to reflect.
Prices and Audible offers are determined by the relevant retailer and may change.
An Amazon Top 10 Bestseller
Should I Stay or Should I Go? reached the Amazon Top 10 and readers have already shared how the book has helped them look differently at their relationships.
"Great relationship tools and the inspiration to use them..."
"The author set the stage for talking about relationships with an overview of how things go bad and the beliefs we may carry around that, such as, 'If we talk about it, it will only get worse.'"
Scott McGreggor — Amazon Review
"Great knowledge that will help my relationship big time..."
"This book has definitely given me a few more tools in my tool box for my relationship!"
Rhys Thomas — Amazon Review
"Book that will help you to decide!"
"Its a book that looks at relationship from inside. Its a practical book that will help you to gain a clarity if you have a dylemma about whether you should leave your current patner or perhabs you should stay... Higly recommended!!"
Annia D. — Amazon Review
Meet the Author
Matt Albiges
Matt works alongside his wife Rebeca through Aligned With Love, helping couples and individuals better understand their relationships and create meaningful change.
Their work has given Matt years of experience seeing the patterns that can leave people feeling disconnected, stuck or unsure about the future of their relationship.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? brings those lessons together into an accessible framework designed to help more people move from relationship CLASH to CLARITY.
Matt's aim isn't to convince everyone to stay together.
Nor is it to tell people to leave.
It's to help people understand their relationship clearly enough to make better decisions about what comes next.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this only for relationships that are struggling?
No. If things aren't working as well as you'd like, the book can help you identify steps that may help get the relationship back on track. But if things are already going well, it can also help you think about how you could take your relationship to another level.
Do we have to read the book together?
No. If you read it together, you'll have the opportunity to explore what's happening from different perspectives. However, if communication is currently difficult or your partner isn't ready to work on things, you can also read the book alone and begin looking at the changes you can make yourself.
I'm single. Will the book still be useful?
Yes. The book can help you make sense of relationships you've experienced in the past and think more clearly about what you want a great relationship to look like in the future.
What if the book makes me realise we need more help?
That's completely fine. A book can give you insight and help you understand your situation, but sometimes personalised support is needed to create deeper change. Aligned With Love works directly with couples and individuals who want support improving or gaining clarity about their relationships.
Can I listen instead of reading?
Yes. Should I Stay or Should I Go? is also available as an audiobook through Audible.
Continue the Conversation
Listen to The Relationship Breakthrough Show
The book is only one way to explore these ideas.
Join Matt and Rebeca on The Relationship Breakthrough Show for conversations about communication, intimacy, conflict, emotional connection, relationship patterns, separation, personal growth and what really helps relationships thrive.
How Healthy Is Your Relationship Right Now?
Sometimes you know something isn't quite right, but putting your finger on exactly what needs attention is difficult.
The Relationship CLARITY Scorecard can help you take a closer look at where your relationship is today and identify the areas that may need more attention.
You Don’t Need All the Answers Today
Start by understanding what is happening in your relationship. Take your next step from CLASH to CLARITY with Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Read together or take the first step on your own.
Choose the book or begin with a free chapter.
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Discover the root cause of your issues and get the tools to resolve them. This will save you years of pain and endless wasted time and money.
The numbers below reflect the trust our users have placed in us and the remarkable outcomes we've helped them achieve.
Put your relationship to the test NOW by taking our Scorecard… Find out how S.O.L.I.D your relationship is!
We always speak to clients before embarking on the work because it’s a commitment and frankly not everyone is ready for it. We need to ensure that you are really committed to getting results, as we guarantee that everybody that works with us will get exactly that.
Using our unique framework, we support you to confront the beliefs and patterns of behaviour that have been keeping you stuck as we run through a series of exercises and questions to enable you to enhance your understanding and to connect on a deeper level.
Plenty of opportunity to check-in to resolve any challenges as you are putting things into place so that we can iron out any issues to keep you accountable and moving towards your goal.
We get lots of requests to share our knowledge with partners which helps spread the message of what’s at stake here… and what’s possible.
Can things really change?
We can actually have a conversation and a discussion instead of having a full-blown argument. I am a person who is 100% in a better place there. I was down here and now I am way up here as a person and my children are here with me. It’s remarkable.
How can we possibly help?
How long will I have to wait for my first appointment?
We have availability throughout the week including weekends and evenings. We run until 9pm meaning that the last appointment is usually 8-9pm. In most cases you won't have to wait more than a few days before we can meet. You can see our availability and book here: https://pages.alignedwithlove.net/home-page-2902-1707
What type(s) of therapy do you offer?
We combine a number of different modalities and apply them to your specific needs. Rebeca's background is in hypnotherapy and she is also trained in a number of different healing modalities including coaching, neuro-linguistic programming, EFT and others. Matt's training is in coaching and neuro-linguistic programming and he draws on many years experience working in personal and organisational change. In addition, they have trained extensively in the area of relationships from where they have drawn and developed the methodologies that they use.
How many sessions am I likely to need?
We always start with an initial session so that we can assess to see whether we can support, and to ensure that it's a good fit. Beyond that if we do proceed together we have a defined structure over 6 months with approximately 40 hours work - some of these sessions are together and some are individual. You also have the chance to join our monthly group in-person sessions split by men / women. You can see, it's NOT a quick fix, but for those who are committed we know that it works 100%.
How frequently will I attend?
The first phase is more intensive where we have several longer sessions over a short period of time. Then in the second phase we have three meetings per month over the six months when you are putting things into practice.
Are your sessions online or in-person?
The initial meeting can be either online or in-person. Most of our clients from the south east tend to come to our centre in London, though it may be more convenient to speak via Zoom due to childcare or other issues. Beyond that, it depends on the session and which option you select. In-person sessions are available throughout the process.
What areas do you serve?
We have clients from across the UK, many of which travel here to London to undertake the initial intensive phase of work. We also have lots of clients from the communities closer to our centre in London. We are based in central London close to major transport connections, including the M4, Heathrow Airport, London Underground and London Buses.
Do I always have to attend with my partner?
Some clients work without the involvement of their partner, though if you are joining together there will be some sessions together and some individual throughout the process.
